Who me? Who knows?

How can one person be so different at one time and another?  It is as if I lose all of my convictions right after they've inspired me to change my life.  I remember feeling so empowered.  I still can sense that feeling.  Yet I am not that way anymore.  I am a worm now.  A chicken.  A sloth.  There was moment when I was a fighter, a woman with a mission.  I don't know where she went.  I'm all alone now with this person I loath.