Blockage

I wish I could just put my artistic skills to use with my card making & other crafts.  I think the blockage comes from my lack of creativity.  Damn it that I have the craftsmanship but not the ability to express it in a productive, coherent way. 

This is how I feel about this:

How Crafting Makes Me Feel

When I see scrapbook pages & other similar paper crafts that contain pretty & fancy pieces of stamps, keys & anything else you can think of, I feel all wonderful inside.  Like the world is an amazing place filled with so many wonderful things... there are so many ways to be creative.  I wish for one day in the future that I will have the opportunity to make similar & wonderful cards and scrapbook pages as I've seen on craft blogs so often.  

Twisted

I am so twisted now. I was reading an article in my textbook about the problems created by our government paying for old people through the Social Security system.  When the article started mentioning the only way to fix the problems are... a thought popped into my mind before I could finish the sentence: kill off the old people.  Then we won't have to worry about the lack of tax money to pay for their living expenses.  

It took a few seconds but that was then I realized my thought process is not normal, healthy psychological behavior. It's not normal to solve problems by killing people off.  It's not normal that I reacted so quickly with such a heartless, malicious solution. I will get help.

Change of mind?

I think my favorite color is sloOOOowly (almost un-noticeably) changing! I've been a faithful Color Blue lover since 3rd grade, and I never expected that this would change. However, ever since I've become pregnant, so many of my preferences have changed. For example, I can't stand loud, chaotic, or obscene music. Since I won't be listening to that type of music after the baby arrives anyways, I think those days of tolerating popular, yet "bad" music, are over! It's for the better. I am glad .
Anyhow, back to my point. I think my new favorite color is Green (preferably a pastel green, it's all the "neutral" baby things I've been getting). Arthur wouldn't let me buy the blue baby items because we're having a girl (I say it doesn't matter, but hey, she's his kid too). And I absolutely can't stand so much pink on my baby, so I had to settle for neutral (that's beige, green, and yellow). I prefer green and beige over yellow, and green is a bit more lively than beige. So most of our baby things are green. I've grown a strange liking for it to the point where I would even pick green over blue (when blue was actually an option)! I was "weirded out" by my selection. So I started to investigate my feelings on this matter, and it turns out I DO prefer green over blue now. With most things (even outside of baby items). So I guess I'm a changed person .